Tuesday, September 18, 2007

CHANGE

This post is one of the posts that I wanted to post long time ago and I didn’t know how to put them in words cause it was a process, a process which took place since 4th of July this year until now. There was a beginning, and we’ll wait for the result.

“Please pray for me, ok, it’s not a problem, please don’t worry. I’m actually going through a change which I think it’s necessary. Something like to be a better man lah. So please pray that God will lead me and show me his way” – niCk (during a prayer meeting back in July)


I must CHANGE! I told myself then. How could I be so terrible? Hope it’s not late. Well, I think nothing is too late.

Ok, first things first, this was a personal issue of my life, I only shared this with those that I’m accountable with, those that I’m very very very close with. Now I’m posting it in my blog so that everyone knows what was going on in my life for the past few months.

09/07/2007 (my journal)
Have been struggling a lot about my life lately. Realized how terrible a person I can be. Sort of a wake up call to stop many thing that I do, from eating habits to social life.
It’s time for a change. Change for a better niCk. And remain to be the better niCk for good.

I still remember some thoughts hit me during that period of time that it made me thought about changing. That time, I remembered what Hock Man told me before which stuck in my head since then. He was saying that once we reach a certain age, our personality and character are pretty much set. What we are will be what people gonna see us. So “do it wanna be like how I am in the future?”

So that hit me, and I thought, gosh, I don’t want to see myself being myself in the future. I don’t want to be forever nine years old (I was 19 then) jumping around, talking nonsense, playing around like small kids.

Hello, I thought, I’m a going to be a doctor, it’s a professional thingie, how can I act the way I acted? A lot of ‘I should’ came out. Change change change!

The best thing is to start with seeking God’s help.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. – Matthew 6:33


I fell on my knees, and prayed to God. I still remember that day Lai Yin was in my room unconscious (nothing much ok?! It was her bed time and she was in my room), yin yee and jun han was studying outside. I just kneel down and spend time praying, worshipping and seek God. It was just awesome!!! Nobody knew, Lai Yin didn’t wake up, nobody knocked on my door. I prayed, I confessed my wrongs, and committed my plan to CHANGE to God and asked God to show me a way.

It was from that day onwards that I CHANGED drastically. I started to use my brain more, to evaluate my action, my speech and my thoughts. In fact, I found, among my friends, people whom I look up to, whom I should learn from. And of course those that I don’t want to be. No offence but as I said, I need to CHANGE. I even picked up some small habits like pray when I wake up in the morning.

Like I said, I only shared that with some of my friends. On 05/08/2007 I saw Maureen online, it was somewhat a divine meeting with her because she was free to talk to me. So I shared about what I was going through. She agreed with me for having that thought and she supported me by giving me some advice bout it. Besides, she encouraged me to press on, be strong in serving to Lord in church and in the area of BGR (boy-girl relationship).

05/08/2007 (my journal)
Today is day which is worth jotting down. Consider a stepping stone for my CHANGE.
After dinner in snack shack, I went online and I saw Maureen was on too. So I asked her if she wanted to layan me.
Found out that she’s leaving for Cambodia tomorrow, means not working, so she chatted with me. Many issues came out, BGR, spiritual life, serving in church.
After that, I felt pretty much relieved, partly knowing that … (BGR) …
After we offline, I did my quiet time straight and God touched me. God spoke to me and I was just in tears.
Thanks Maureen!
Move on...

I moved on. I tried to come out with a blueprint of my CHANGE. Big project huh?!

It was on my birthday that I ‘launched’ my project. Since I was turning 20, it was high time for me to CHANGE.

Character: to be honorable is better to be honored. I should keep reminding myself that I must be honorable instead of seeking attention of other people. People may not honor me but as long as I’m doing something which people cannot see, God sees it. That’s about integrity. The things that I say, is it edifying or nonsense? The things that I do, is it what God wants me to do or out of my selfishness?

Health: stop junking. I actually stop eating Lay’s and chocolate since July.

Attitude: my attitude towards the things that I do, serving God, studies and towards other people has to be set right. The way that I see things should be the way God sees them. Especially towards people, I must constantly be reminded that they are also God’s creation, so do not judge but help them if they are in need.

Nerdiness: second year medical school made me a nerd. But I think it’s worth it. It’s my calling, it’s from God. I have to study hard. Of course, please, I’m not being a total nerd here. Just wanna do my role as a student.

Godliness: this is really important. It is when I’m in tune with God that I could manage to stay strong in serving God as well as my studies. So I have to stay close with God.

Expenses: stop spending unnecessarily.

CHANGE

so do pray along with me and help me with this CHANGE. And I’m serious about it. I don’t want to see myself being my old self.

Can’t stay forever 19. I’m 20 now!

I shall be a God driven medical student for now!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

i need to blog!

gosh it's 5am now in malaysia. suppose to be dreaming.

but i have too much to blog about!!!

bought a new toy for myself. more toys to come hopefully. need to blog about it.
CHANGE. need to blog about it.
why no girlfriend. need to blog about it.
just finished cleaning my room, awesome!!!. need to blog about it
scanning my old photos into my computer. need to blog about it.

but i don't have time!!! i got a million thing to do, as usual

can blogspot link directly to my brain?!

seriously, i need to spend sometime blogging. which is not tomorrow and not friday... not this week.

going to singapore on friday. mom warned me not to buy anything.

what if iPhone is out there?!

hmmm....

good nig... morning

Sunday, September 9, 2007

super saturday

last time when we talked about super saturday, it's about the day, saturday, when all the XYZ (x-tra-ordinary youth zone) members would gather together, spending time with one another singing praise and worship to God and fellowship with one another

i'm not really sure if super saturday is still called as super saturday.

but today is indeed a super saturday for me.

when to church in the afternoon. joined PCG1 for their DBS lesson two which we discussed about the fatherhood of God.

seriously, XYZ is no long the same as what i saw last time (give me a "DUH") i see people rising up as leaders, i also see those who rose up falling. i found it pretty hard to blend into them. please don't tell me that i'm getting old. no!!!

i miss super saturday.

niway, had a great time in the CG. sylvia preached, jeremy led worship. worship was good. and poor sylvia. she was having sore throat and yet she had to strain her voice.

met poh chee and he was so sweet that he gave me a free GSC voucher. i was like, "aww..."

met mellisa ong too. she just came back from singapore. so we sort of tour around the church and check out the sanctuary.

met allan sia. he was holding Levinson Microbiology text book. i quickly jumped away from him.

after some hulla hulla, hello bye bye, i drove back to my aunties house and return the o-so-sacred-VIOS to my mom since she needed to go some where to pick up something. but before that she dropped me at sungai besi LRT station.

took a train to Sri Petaling. pass by Bukit Jalil and it was so OMGly crowded. met up with Lai Yin and Yin Yee at the station and Ken fetched us to Lester's house in USJ.

had a great makan time in Lester's house, seeing Lyvia packing for Manipal. yey! lyvia is going to Manipal!!!

after that, we went mamak at murni's. catch up with Lester abit. yeah. we don't catch up with one another in India one. somehow.

but it was good talking to him.

reached home at 2.

nite peeps! tomorrow need to wake up for church.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Malaysia Boleh

"am i psychotic? people are lining up to board the LRT." - niCk (sms to LaiYin)
"yeah, they do line up" - Lai Yin (sms)
"India really jakunized me a lot." - niCk

went back to Tsun Jin High School this morning for a proper visit. after that me and ren hui went to time square for lunch. not that we need to chit chat a lot since we're seeing each other everyday in India.

so after lunch i asked him to drop me at one of the Putra LRT station so that i could take a train to Taman Jaya to see my optometrist. need to make a new pair of glasses. find it hard to drive at night nowanights (now-a-nights?).

so the plan was to change the lens of my glasses so i don't need to get so many frames. but then, if i hand over my glasses, what am i gonna wear?

so Adrian's mom, the optometrist suggested me to make a new one which is not so expensive while changing the lens of the current one. sounds good!

then she started to bring out all the frames that's available. and GOSH! i saw one by ESPRIT

and OMG! i so liked it.

"BUT, the price is different" said she.

aww...

so i had to choose a cheaper one then. but i seriously seriously like that one very much.

niway, settled with the cheap one, need to go back few days later to collect it.

after that, i took LRT to Masjid Jamek and to my amaze, i saw people lining to board the LRT. i nearly faint looking at the scene. gosh! since when?

Malaysia Boleh!

when home, had dinner with mom and fred.

tonight shall be a movie night!

so free

"...why you so free huh?..." - Sylvia (sms)
"of course ler, one month with no studies" - niCk (sms)




life is great back home. no books, no microbiology, no india!

almost reached zero production rate today at home. wanted to go out for lunch but, looking at the o-so-hot weather, na, rather stay at home. skipped lunch.

backing up my computer data into my brand new (tada!) 160GB portable hard disc drive.

now i actually doubt that 160GB is enough for me. yet to copy movies from Lai Yin

went out to meet up with Li Hiong at starbucks near my house.

Green Tea Fracppuccino (o-so-creamy)

was suppose to meet up at 8pm. i reached starbucks at 7.57pm. reminded myself, "no more Indian timing or chinese timing or whatsoever timing - be punctual"

but due to some miscommunication, she reached starbucks at around 9.

chit-chat till 11pm, asked my mom to fetch me home.



asked mom to buy sushi since they were eating at Jaya Jusco foodcourt but fred didn't want.

then mom said, "since you one year never eat durian dy, buy you some la"




then what about sushi?!

ish!

niway, durian was nice, Flippy still doesn't eat durian.

-------------------------------------------------------

visited Yun Tjin's blog and i found this:


yeap! this is Dream Centre, DUMC. my church in Malaysia.

i came back just in time for the inauguration and it was awesome!

God is awesome!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

so fast! amazing

cool! i'm currently updating my blog from my mom's office. having lunch with Mr Siew, my mom's boss, later.

went to renew my driving licence just now. GOSH! it was so amazingly fast

what you need to do is, go get a number, wait for your turn, give them your old licence with a passport size photo. then they cut cut the photo, stick it and laminate it.

you can get it there and then.

cool!

imagine Manipal University having such efficient services. that would be AWESOME!

i'm home!

cool! finally i'm posting something from my mom's laptop at home. see, told you all that i'll be back in september.

but i'm just too tired to type. gonna watch movie now.

i'll definitely update when the time comes.

kekeke

meanwhile, i'm super duper angry when i reached home. my house is like an abandoned building which was not occupied for a thousand years. cob web all over, things are every where, especially my book shelf and my room. i wonder what is my brother doing when he's free.

i can accept that he's tired after school everyday. but can't he take out sometime, like, once a month to clean up the room? at least help mom to do so since mom is duper triper busy. it's not fair to wait for one year for me to come back to tidy up the house for him.

punishment: no more sony VAIO for him cause i'm gonna take it away.